Making friends

The last few months have ended up being pretty social. I think I broke through that point of feeling like I didn’t know many people without realising it, and all of a sudden I have a range of different friends, different connections, and a lot more to do.

The primary source of all these friends has been yoga. I have already written about making one friend from class – a Canadian – and that network expanded when she and I went to a party held by one of the yoga teachers. While there we met quite a few people, including two Nigerian women who have since put out a few social invites. A drink here, dinner there, all with more people joining along the way, has led to some interesting and lively nights out including going to see a band, going to restaurants, garden bars, and on one occasion a very expensive club where you could only buy by the bottle. We asked for wine… the cheapest thing they could offer was Moet…. we made a sharp exit!

Then, a few weeks ago one of the yoga teachers – an American with a Nigerian husband – mentioned the ‘Nigerwives’ club as she gave me a lift home. Did I know about it? Apparently Nigerwives, an association that registered back in 1979, is an organisation for foreign wives of Nigerian citizens – the term coming from a stamp you can get in your passport excluding you from  needing a visa (currently top of my to do list). On the stamp they label you as a Nigerwife. According to the yoga teachers sources, the Nigerwives official club can be a little on the dry side, so another girl from class – an Australian with a Nigerian husband – was arranging a break-away group, or a more informal group. So I headed there today, had a really nice time and met some great people, including a girl from the UK who is here with work but her husband is still in England, and a girl from Kenya. The Australian hosted it, and she lives in quite a different part of town to me but thankfully I had a taxi driver I knew who could take me – another thing that makes me feel more comfortable. Although having said that, the taxi driver did tell me a while back that I was his best friend so I haven’t been using him that much lately. He’s the kind of friend I do not want to be making!

And another very interesting source of friend making has been social media! I found a review of top 5 cafés in Abuja (something I am always on the lookout for), and discovered that the writer was an English girl who is blogging for the Telegraph. I looked at her articles and liked what I was reading; finally someone who was being honest about Abuja and Nigeria but not harsh or critical. Someone who could see the charm and beauty of the place (which at times is quite a challenge – even when you are a cheerful person) and make fun of the annoyances in a nice way. I’ve met too many people recently who are so negative about the country you can’t help think to yourself ‘so why are you here? Just go home!’. Anyway… I saw her Twitter name on the blog and sent her a little message, hoping she would come back with ‘do you fancy meeting?’. And thankfully her response was ‘let me know if you fancy meeting for a beer or a coffee’! What more could I ask for!

A few tweets later, I met her and her husband for a drink (which turned into quite a few glasses of wine). They are both great – both journalists, both interesting people, and both happy to live in different countries and randomly meet people who send them Twitter messages. Oh, and they are the same age as me, and we have quite a few things in common so by the end of the evening it felt like we were old friends. It was a great evening, hopefully soon to be repeated.

So, between yoga, unofficial Nigerwives, and finding people through the power of the internet, I can’t complain about my social life at the moment.